Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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