I need help removing her.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
