Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All I want is dick and wine.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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