Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize