OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
can u get pink eye on your cock?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
