It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
