So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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