my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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