I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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