I'm jealous of your bromance
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
