"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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