Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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