i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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