The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
