Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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