At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
