no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Boobs speak an international language.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
