the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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