According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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