If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
