just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
