He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Someone signed my nipple.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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