Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
