p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
