It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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