Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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