Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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