Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He did a backflip because drugs
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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