dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
