1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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