what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize