Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
