Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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