she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
