last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
