No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
