We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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