I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
