we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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