we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
