Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
