Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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