He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
