If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
