what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
