i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
