I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
high people should be assigned attendants
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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