Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize