Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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