Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
