just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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