gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
