i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize