I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
