he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
