i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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