so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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