Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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