Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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