I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
