I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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